Predictable

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ashkrishwrites Avatar

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I enjoyed reading the extract. It told me about a diffident narrator and realised why the camp was important for her. But why was is she so low on confidence. there is a hint of something happening at the park. there are couple of lines that make it clear that she doesnt want to go but forcing herself to go. The writing style didn't engage me.

The international camp setting is great, the way the kids settled down, the usual environment of new experiences away from home is built up well. However, it reads like a diary entry. There is too much detail which I am not sure is helping the story. Unfortunately, I did not feel immersed. There is an element of predictability that stopped me enjoying the extract.


However, the other characters, Taka and Sean have been etched well. I enjoyed the dialogue between Sean and the narrator and between Maia and the narrator too. I have a feeling Taka and Sean are going to play a more important role in the coming pages.