A well-observed and poignant story.

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Missy is the narrator of this memorable debut novel and, as the story gradually unfolds, her reflections on past events in her life offer us insights into the experiences and influences which have made her the prickly, emotionally cut-off, lonely, depressed and regretful person we are first introduced to. We get to know her as a child, enabling us to understand the continuing influences of her parents and grandparents; as a clever but self-doubting student at Cambridge in the 1950s; as the girlfriend, and later the wife, of Leo; as a mother who often struggled with mothering, particularly of her daughter; as someone who ‘sacrificed’ her academic brilliance for a life of domesticity; as someone who for decades had carried a secret which had, and still does, cause her shame, guilt and regret. There were times when her reflections felt almost unbearably painful to read but, as she began to allow her new friends, both human and canine, into her life and, in turn, came to accept that they equally valued their relationships with her, it felt very moving to see her discover that it really is never too late to make friends, to learn new skills, to make changes in our lives, to build bridges and to make reparation.
All the other characters felt very well-developed and three-dimensional, with each having a key role to play as the story unfolded. Missy had long harboured the belief that she was neither loveable nor worthy of being loved and so ‘deserved’ the life she was living – until her new friends began to change her mind. A recurring message in the story was the importance of having a group of supportive, loving friends, something Missy, with her classical education, described as an ‘oikos’, an ancient Greek word to describe a tight network that closely resembles a family. She used another classical reference when reflecting on the wonders of relationships:
‘Sylvie had a wonderful capacity for “philautia”, that boldest of Greek loves, the love of the self – a much finer quality than narcissism, which it’s often mistaken for. The way I saw it, with narcissism, you were just gazing at your reflection in a lake, with philautia, you were frolicking in the lake and inviting people to join you. People who truly liked themselves seemed to have a greater capacity for friendship, for letting people in. Perhaps that’s why I, in the past, was always rather solitary. But I liked to think I was starting to dip a toe in the waters.’
I must admit that one of the unexpected delights of the story for me was that it is ‘peppered’ with such classical references, Latin verbs, reflections on the etymology of words and their ongoing influences in our language.
Although there are many feel-good moments in this story, as well as some lovely moments of humour, one of the things I appreciated most was that the author didn’t shy away from exploring not only the darker, much more complex aspects of Missy’s personality, but also the various physical, mental and emotional challenges of aging. As a result, the story acquired a much greater and more satisfying depth than I had been expecting. There are also a couple of mysteries at the heart of the story and although at quite an early stage I accurately predicted what one of them was, the final revelation did come as a surprise. However, it was a ‘surprise’ which, reflecting back on the story, felt absolutely credible and added an extra layer of psychological integrity to author’s impressive observational and storytelling skills.
Had I not received an ARC of Beth Morrey’s debut novel but had just noticed it in a bookshop, I suspect that I know that I have been put off by the cover and the publisher’s synopsis because both suggest to me a rather lightweight, possibly overly sentimental story. In fact it is neither, rather it is a beautifully written, poignant and thought-provoking ‘coming of old age’ novel. In addition to being a satisfying personal read, I think it would make a good choice for book groups.