It felt quite clunky and forced - it feels like me re-reading something I wrote as a young child where things just feel really awkward and weird. There were parts that were phrased a little too convosationally and like he had to find a way to get a certian detail in and thats the only way he could do it. The way things were worded didn't sound like how a child would say it - plus there were some words that a child wouldnt use. I also wasn't a fan of how Max would talk to the reader every now and again.