[ARC from Avon Books via NetGalley] There is a lovely story somewhere in this book, but it took a lot of motivation (and quite a bit of skimming) to get through to it. I think most of the issues could be solved with editing, though. There are still quite a lot of typos in the ARC manuscript, for example, that I’m sure could amended before publication. But I also frequently felt the need for a stronger editing, particularly when the characters’ inner dialogue got too long and repetitive.
Some other issues I had with the book however cannot be solved by editing:
1. In general, I found that there was far too much telling and explaning, and not enough showing, throughout the manuscript. Almost all contemporary pop culture references got to be explained by one character or the other, to the point where I felt that even feminism was mansplained to me. It was weird, considering the writer is a woman.
2. There were too many crossed wires, unneccessary (and unbelievable) coincidences, misunderstanding in the story, which took away any resemblance of agency from the characters.
3. The book alternates between third person narrated POV’s of the two protagonists, but at one point a third POV was offered that made little sense (and provided little advancement or insight in the story).
4. Both protagonists were described as being beautiful. I know this might seem harmless, but their lack of physical defects made them entirely uninteresting and much less relatable in their insecurities. Especially since all main characters seemed to be perfectly sculpted and athletic. For one second around the beginning I thought the love interest could be the guy with BO that Nadia immediately dismissed on the tube, and I was elated at the broken stereotype. That was not the case, obviously.
5. Nadia was a flawed protagonist who didn’t undergo any real growing up or changing throughout the story. All conflicts solved themselves because of fate rather than because characters actually moved foreward.
6. Also, Nadia seemed pretty dim for somebody working in AI. In fact, she’s never shown doing anything in her lab, no details of her job were ever given (aside from her apparent preoccupation with the way AI might affect working classes). I think it could be done better than this, but that’s probably because I’m used to Penny Reid’s books.
7. Daniel was text-book perfect. Like, his flaws were “interview” flaws, the kind that are actually qualities. And even his issues with anxiety around the beginning of the book were never really dealt with or resolved. They simply disappeared.
8. There were a number of sensitive topics thrown in the story, such as drug use and drunken sex, that felt like they were handled with superficiality.
On a personal note, I didn’t enjoy Nadia’s behaviour on the night she’s first stood up by Daniel. Without spoiling the story, let me tell you her lack of judgement felt wrong, but the way she handled things afterward felt worse.
And yet, this could have been such a lovely rom com. I really wish a good editor could take this manuscript off the market-testing phase and back into the editing room, helping the author navigate and some of the book’s current issue. I’m sure it has potential.