This opens up with a very hard to decipher letter full of nonsense words and titles. It’s not a compelling opening and is trying way too hard while coming across as clunky and unpolished.
The nonsense words continue throughout the preview. There’s not enough context given to draw the reader in. From what I can ascertain this is another ‘Harry Potter.. but American!’ attempt.
The pacing is off throughout the preview with world-building and contents skimmed over but several pages devoted to waiting for a spaceship. I think the target audience for this will probably be disengaged. It’s very slow, it’s garbled with all the nonsense words, and there’s nothing that draws the reader in. I spent most of the preview counting down the remaining pages.
The cover art isn’t particularly compelling: it’s dark, Harry Potter-esque, and has an air of taking itself too seriously. If I saw this in a bookshop, I’d probably wince and walk past.
The only bright spot in this was Gumbo. I’m bumping it up a star for a pet alligator as that’s a genuinely unique part of what was promising to be a tired old rehash.
The nonsense words continue throughout the preview. There’s not enough context given to draw the reader in. From what I can ascertain this is another ‘Harry Potter.. but American!’ attempt.
The pacing is off throughout the preview with world-building and contents skimmed over but several pages devoted to waiting for a spaceship. I think the target audience for this will probably be disengaged. It’s very slow, it’s garbled with all the nonsense words, and there’s nothing that draws the reader in. I spent most of the preview counting down the remaining pages.
The cover art isn’t particularly compelling: it’s dark, Harry Potter-esque, and has an air of taking itself too seriously. If I saw this in a bookshop, I’d probably wince and walk past.
The only bright spot in this was Gumbo. I’m bumping it up a star for a pet alligator as that’s a genuinely unique part of what was promising to be a tired old rehash.