Intriguing story idea, poor grammar

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amymay88 Avatar

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Although the plot of the story is very promising and the first look did leave me wanting more, I really struggled with the writing style. The regular use of 'but' to start sentences, hyphens to break-up sentences, irregular uses of commas and colons, no capital letters for organisations such as Social Services etc. This might be my outdated knowledge of writing but i found it read too immaturely for the content.