A frustrating novel of head-hopping with zero plausible police work & flimsy plotting.
Billed as a dark psychological thriller, Perfect Match is more comical farce with a huge suspension of disbelief and a phenomenal amount of head-hopping. The result reads like a mash-up of ‘Only Connect’, ‘Keystone Cops’ via ‘The Undateables’ and makes for a pretty unimpressive reading experience. Suspend disbelief, prepare for some eye-rolling and do not expect one jot of plausible police work in a novel that is less dark and gripping, more comedy crime caper and rather lightweight escapism set in the hipster neighbourhood of Shoreditch. Firstly, my overriding gripe is the frequent head-hopping employed, with author D.B. Thorne switching between viewpoints seemingly at will and on multiple occasions within a single chapter which is neither conducive to fluid reading or satisfying, with the shifting points of view not limited to several main players but including bit part characters who make fleeting appearances.
The premise of Perfect Match is centred around twenty-one-year-old burlesque dancer and stripper, Tiffany Mullan, venturing out on an online date after finally getting rid of her on-off controlling ex-boyfriend, Robbie White. So when her brother and next-of-kin twenty-three-year-old Solomon is awakened in the middle of the night by the news that she has nearly drowned in a canal after ingesting a quantity of barbiturates and has been placed in an induced coma, he suspects that Robbie is behind her fate. For facially disfigured and borderline genius Solomon, who has lived his life in the ‘virtual space’ of the online world and not left his flat for twenty-two months, getting to Tiffany’s bedside is his first test. Flooded with anxiety and entirely out of his comfort zone the second comes in the form of ‘managing’ his older brother, career criminal Luke who is keen to dispense his own brand of justice. When Solomon takes his questions about Tiffany’s assault to DI Helen Fox her lack of interest smacks of conducting an investigation into his sister’s reputation as she passes Tiffany’s assault off as an accident with her prime concern the police record of twenty-seven-year-old Luke and his links to organised crime. Orphaned from teenagers the Mullan family have always believed that blood is thicker than water and from the measly information that Tiffany was on an online date and a glance at the oddly composed text message exchange, DI Fox gives Solomon the starting point for his own investigation...
Solomon’s world is one of familiarity, order and predictability and if DI Fox isn’t willing to perform a cursory investigation then Solomon is more than happy to do the thinking on her behalf. As he pieces together the start of a pattern of brutal assaults or murders on young woman after going on online dates through his prowess in data mining the internet he finds his analysis is limited by his reluctance to gather evidence on a face to face basis and speak to those who knew the victim’s best. However when he shares his tentative theory with scientist and laboratory worker, Kay, a fellow member of a group of idiosyncratic quiz setters called ‘Brain Pool’, he finds an unexpected ally... but in the process attracts the attentions of a deviously clever predator whose elaborate staging is more than a match for the combined acuity and cerebral talents of both Solomon and Kay.
Unfortunately there is a blatant lack of any manner of investigation with DI Fox being hostile, incompetent, unethical and lacking in any moral compunction and there is no attempt at adhering to plausible police protocols with a hefty chunk of creative licence employed throughout. Detective Inspector Fox is a pantomime villain with her offensive treatment of the public and fellow officers ridiculous. Not only is she abusive, calling Solomon a “solitary fantasist” on several occasions but just pages later she agrees to his ill-considered undercover operation with guns and thermal imaging! Conveniently she doesn’t appear to need any sign off for this extremely uncalculated mission adding to the whole amateur feel which makes it hard to generate any credible tension. Sadly very few loose ends are tied up, from the identity of Robbie’s murderer to Solomon and Luke escaping the clutches of an inept police force despite evidence of criminal behaviour on both their parts. Likewise complete elements of the plot are introduced and then not mentioned for chapters on end only to be picked up randomly later, and when these elements include the matter of laundering the not insubstantial amount of £20k in a week, the flimsy attention to plotting is evident.
As a lead character I found Solomon’s quirky originality soon lost its novelty with the size of his head increasing exponentially throughout the novel, albeit for a short moment of doubt and a modicum of romantic suspense. Solomon makes things inordinately more complicated than they are with his convoluted planning of a very basic strategy seemingly requiring critical path analysis and flow charts with reasonable probabilities factored in. Thorne attempts to ratchet up tension by highlighting Solomon’s inability to interpret feelings, the motivations of others and likely responses which I presume is a veiled reference to some form of autism or Asperger’s. However hid behaviour throughout does not support this diagnosis, being highly diplomatic and interpreting others behaviour admirably well, from quickly sussing out that DI Fox has no interest in Tiffany’s assault and that Kay is after more than his brains. I must admit that I found it hard to ignore his double standards with Solomon seeming to view his and Luke’s criminal practices as permissible.
The two stars is purely for the comedy aspect induced by reading but with a jumpy narrative, zero authentic police work and a host of loose ends, I would neither recommend this book or want to read more by the author. All in all I found it difficult to care about either the characters or the outcome.
With thanks to Readers First who provided me with a free copy of this novel in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion.
The premise of Perfect Match is centred around twenty-one-year-old burlesque dancer and stripper, Tiffany Mullan, venturing out on an online date after finally getting rid of her on-off controlling ex-boyfriend, Robbie White. So when her brother and next-of-kin twenty-three-year-old Solomon is awakened in the middle of the night by the news that she has nearly drowned in a canal after ingesting a quantity of barbiturates and has been placed in an induced coma, he suspects that Robbie is behind her fate. For facially disfigured and borderline genius Solomon, who has lived his life in the ‘virtual space’ of the online world and not left his flat for twenty-two months, getting to Tiffany’s bedside is his first test. Flooded with anxiety and entirely out of his comfort zone the second comes in the form of ‘managing’ his older brother, career criminal Luke who is keen to dispense his own brand of justice. When Solomon takes his questions about Tiffany’s assault to DI Helen Fox her lack of interest smacks of conducting an investigation into his sister’s reputation as she passes Tiffany’s assault off as an accident with her prime concern the police record of twenty-seven-year-old Luke and his links to organised crime. Orphaned from teenagers the Mullan family have always believed that blood is thicker than water and from the measly information that Tiffany was on an online date and a glance at the oddly composed text message exchange, DI Fox gives Solomon the starting point for his own investigation...
Solomon’s world is one of familiarity, order and predictability and if DI Fox isn’t willing to perform a cursory investigation then Solomon is more than happy to do the thinking on her behalf. As he pieces together the start of a pattern of brutal assaults or murders on young woman after going on online dates through his prowess in data mining the internet he finds his analysis is limited by his reluctance to gather evidence on a face to face basis and speak to those who knew the victim’s best. However when he shares his tentative theory with scientist and laboratory worker, Kay, a fellow member of a group of idiosyncratic quiz setters called ‘Brain Pool’, he finds an unexpected ally... but in the process attracts the attentions of a deviously clever predator whose elaborate staging is more than a match for the combined acuity and cerebral talents of both Solomon and Kay.
Unfortunately there is a blatant lack of any manner of investigation with DI Fox being hostile, incompetent, unethical and lacking in any moral compunction and there is no attempt at adhering to plausible police protocols with a hefty chunk of creative licence employed throughout. Detective Inspector Fox is a pantomime villain with her offensive treatment of the public and fellow officers ridiculous. Not only is she abusive, calling Solomon a “solitary fantasist” on several occasions but just pages later she agrees to his ill-considered undercover operation with guns and thermal imaging! Conveniently she doesn’t appear to need any sign off for this extremely uncalculated mission adding to the whole amateur feel which makes it hard to generate any credible tension. Sadly very few loose ends are tied up, from the identity of Robbie’s murderer to Solomon and Luke escaping the clutches of an inept police force despite evidence of criminal behaviour on both their parts. Likewise complete elements of the plot are introduced and then not mentioned for chapters on end only to be picked up randomly later, and when these elements include the matter of laundering the not insubstantial amount of £20k in a week, the flimsy attention to plotting is evident.
As a lead character I found Solomon’s quirky originality soon lost its novelty with the size of his head increasing exponentially throughout the novel, albeit for a short moment of doubt and a modicum of romantic suspense. Solomon makes things inordinately more complicated than they are with his convoluted planning of a very basic strategy seemingly requiring critical path analysis and flow charts with reasonable probabilities factored in. Thorne attempts to ratchet up tension by highlighting Solomon’s inability to interpret feelings, the motivations of others and likely responses which I presume is a veiled reference to some form of autism or Asperger’s. However hid behaviour throughout does not support this diagnosis, being highly diplomatic and interpreting others behaviour admirably well, from quickly sussing out that DI Fox has no interest in Tiffany’s assault and that Kay is after more than his brains. I must admit that I found it hard to ignore his double standards with Solomon seeming to view his and Luke’s criminal practices as permissible.
The two stars is purely for the comedy aspect induced by reading but with a jumpy narrative, zero authentic police work and a host of loose ends, I would neither recommend this book or want to read more by the author. All in all I found it difficult to care about either the characters or the outcome.
With thanks to Readers First who provided me with a free copy of this novel in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion.